Please come and visit my new boutique, SCAFIDI, Ltd.!
Over the years, many of you have kindly observed that I have more knowledge of fashion and style than the average law professor -- which may be damning with faint praise, but I'll take it as a compliment anyway. One shoe-loving lawyer and dear friend even suggested that I'd missed my calling as a fashion editor.
Well, I've finally heeded your advice and decided to combine my love of law and passion for fashion in a single enterprise. After the recent raid, there's space available on Canal Street -- and with the dollar going south, demand for cheap knockoffs of high quality, cutting-edge designer goods is certain to rise. Yes, I've argued in favor of closing the loophole in U.S. law that allows design piracy -- but in the meantime, I'll be sailing the high seas of fashion with a bandana on my head and a parrot on my shoulder, plundering the best designs from famous fashion labels and struggling young designers alike.
After all, as I explained to my financial partners, who better understands the peculiar legal distinctions between an illegal counterfeit and a legal knockoff, or protected trade dress and a vulnerable new innovation? Or how to draft an airtight manufacturing agreement with a sweatshop owner while appearing to adhere to fair trade practices? And as for those all-important "connections" in shipping and customs, I've been carrying around that vowel at the end of my family name forever (and hearing the usual comments) -- maybe it's time to put it to some use.
But all of that is just between us. Today is the grand opening of Scafidi, Ltd.! Come on down, have a drink, and do some shopping! If you're lucky, I may just throw in some free counsel on the side.
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